Separation Anxiety

Jack starts Mother's Day Out in a little over a week. Twice a week for 4 hours a day, he'll go to a classroom type environment where he can learn some social skills and experience a structured environment so that he'll be better prepared for kindergarten. Our motivation in getting him into the program was so that a) when he goes off to school he won't be The Creeper, and b) to give me a few hours a week to myself.

When I registered him for the class back in March, I was pretty much counting the days until September 1st rolled around. I was practically delirious with thoughts of being able to schedule a doctor's appointment, take the friggin' dogs to the vet, get some projects done, or even (gasp!) take a nap.

But now that the time for him to spread his proverbial wings is drawing nigh, I'm inexplicably sad. Don't get me wrong, the mental image of my little nugget bringing home macaroni-art practically makes me high, but at the same time, I'm kinda bummed that his childhood is flying by so fast.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me? I'm the person who used to think being a SAHM was a chore (the most important chore in the entire world, mind you, but a chore nonetheless). And now that my "baby" is a small child, I'm having mixed feelings about spending a whopping 8 HOURS A WEEK away from him. It's 8 hours a week that I won't have to deal with tantrums or diapers, but it's 8 hours a week that I'll be deprived of hugs, kisses, and the sweetest little face I've ever seen in my entire life.

I generally think people who lament the progression of their child are total saps, and yet here I am, doing just that. Good God, I hope I'm not gonna be one of those moms that cries. Ugh. Being a parent makes you weird.

Anyway, now that I've confessed my somewhat pathetic heartbreak over my son's maturation, I have to admit I'm actually pretty damn excited about it.

I ran out and bought him the most impractical yet adorable Lightning McQueen lunch box (it's in the actual shape of a car, but it holds maybe 2 food items), I've already packed all his stuff, and I find myself fantasizing about the little friends he's going to make, and the little class parties he's going to have.

It's a strange sensation to be SO excited for your child, and at the same time be SO sad that it's flying by.

I honestly believe that being a SAHM is one of the absolute most important things you can do for your child, but I always had a nagging suspicion that I was horrible at it and really not cut out for the job. But now I realize I have the best job in the entire world, and my son brings me so much joy that I frequently find myself worrying my head might actually explode from being so happy. So happy that I can't help but get a little sad when I watch him grow.

But seriously, the first time he brings home macaroni-art, I might spontaneously combust.